An unreasonably detailed analysis of Wordle

As I plot the next season of the iconic Texas Correspondent podcast (also available on Apple and Spotify!), I've given myself time to contemplate the biggest issues facing humanity today.

Those issues, I discovered, are a downer. This award winning journalist has determined we need a collective distraction, so a witty blog ensued.

See what I did there?

Oh, but even this blog won't be free of controversy. I have concerns the wordsmiths who present us with Wordle are running out of ideas.

My associates and I are no squares, but sometimes I'll take a screenshot completing the day's Wordle to show I did something. At a time we all seem so divided, we're striving to embrace the simple pleasures in life, you know?

This was frequently during the workday, and a pro-tip for those who haven't quit their job to start an iconic podcast: the day's Wordle can give you an opportunity to frown thoughtfully at your phone like you're taking notes and really pondering what the person running that meeting has to say.

The issues started back in '24. One day, Wordle insisted the game would stay free, but it became increasingly insistent I start an account. I had an epic streak going. Concerned, I logged the epicness (or epictude, if you will).

Sure enough, the next day, Wordle attacked. We'd been together more than a year, Wordle, why you gotta do me like that?

My stats don't look right, Wordle, but it was no use. She'd made her decision.

You'll notice my strategy, a word that provides a robust melange of popular consonants and vowels. Many days, I have it done in a jiffy.

But then Wordle started trying to show how smart it was with a rush of fancy words. Since it became a New York Times property, it's like Wordle suddenly thought it was better than us.

Oh, and then they whipped us with all these puzzles with double letters!

I'm not presenting you with all these expertly solved Wordles to brag (A lot of people have problems with that). I'm just concerned they're running out of ideas.

Myrrh was a delightful nod to the holiday season. But I bring it up now because this week, we all got whipped with "oomph."

I may not be seeking out the Wordle daily anymore, but I feel like I can still contribute. In fact, I used five letter words approximately 16 times just in the first ten paragraphs of this blog.

If you're looking for suggestions, Wordlesmiths, here are some free ones: "Shhhh" ... "Argh!" (If we're going to use oomph, why not just make the exclamation point part of the puzzle?!). Just please don't reset my stats again.