When did we ever live in a certain time?!

Loyal Scaiaholics recall that, unfailingly, each December, I post a "year in review" blog. And by "unfailingly," I mean, "twice in the past five years."

"Scaia, you ruggedly handsome scoundrel," you're screaming at your computer. "We're not really into a look back this year. Read the room, man."

The editorial board here at 1 Scaianalysis Esplanade agrees. Let us instead look forward. With explosives!

You see, in these uncertain times (please read that while imagining a minor chord), even New Year's Eve celebrations are taking a different timbre. The gang at Reunion Tower in Dallas is planning its annual fireworks show, billed as the "only 360 degree panoramic fireworks spectacular in the Central Time Zone." Take that, Moline, Illinois!

I would have preferred the organizers work in the term, "extravabonanza" in there somewhere, but since this is a blog that looks forward, not back, I'm happy to present that idea to them next year.

In these uncertain times (minor chord), you cannot attend the fireworks show. Police will have roads and parking lots blocked tonight.

Instead, you can watch on their Facebook page or Youtube channel. That gives you the chance to watch along with the soundtrack. I discussed the soundtrack with the president of Reunion Tower. She explained, and excuse me for this editorial statement, that 2020 was kind of a downer.

So they talked with their music guy, and the music will be kind of a downer. For a bit. Then it's gettin' real to celebrate a new doggone year.

I then spoke with the show's creative director.

"So, I assume this means you're opening with the Imperial March and the closer will be that horn they play when someone wins both showcases on The Price is Right?" a reporter asks.

He explained they actually have a song called, Heroes, that will play and they'll fire off explosives to celebrate everyone who's helping us get through this year.

You're not allowed to have fireworks at your house. That would be illegal. But hypothetically, if you had, like, a roman candle that was blue, you could tell the officer writing your ticket you were just doing it in honor of our healthcare heroes.

Look how festive, inviting and non-creepy you can be!

Reunion Tower has used the same fireworks guy for years. The creative director, Matt Peterson, says they had actually started planning the show in February, but they had to adjust when society was discontinued.

But we can celebrate a new year.

"It's not as though 2021 could be worse," everyone posits.

Never mind that Nostradamus predicts a "pestilent she-monster" and "fire and a long trail of sparks" in the sky. Let us simply remember that in these uncertain times (minor chord), we can come closer together by blowing up a small piece of land.