Tormenta aims to make an Immelman inversion on your heart
- Mar 26
- 3 min read
Loyal Scaiaholics will recall work associates have thoroughly and consistently exploited my fear of heights.
This week, ScaiPod returns to Six Flags Over Texas. Normally, they stay open all year, but this year, they took a break for about six weeks over the winter for renovations.
Sylvester and the Tasmanian Devil didn't want to miss spring break, though, so they've since reopened. They ushered us hip, young influencers to check out updates to Mr. Freeze. I immediately became concerned.
"They're just going to snake the line right around Mr. Freeze's gun?! Listen people, put your phones down. This is getting serious. He's not just a villain. Mr. Freeze is a supervillain!" I exclaimed in italics.
Six Flags was pointing out they've updated the lines so even while you wait, there will be plenty to keep you entertained... like getting shot with ice right in your face.
But you need to intervene. Otherwise, Batman would have been frozen. The situation continued get more and more bleak.
We made our way through the hall and to the ride itself, ready to thwart Mr. Freeze in his lair. But you'll notice the cars are empty.
Technically, a computer glitch meant we couldn't get on right away, which is exactly the type of scam an accomplished scientist like Mr. Freeze would do to counterthwart your plans (I don't understand, since he had completed a doctoral thesis on cryogenics, why he would just use mister as his title in his supervillain name).
The staff ushered us back out of the ride and, to get me to stop questioning Freeze's educational background, they took us to try out new dishes on the menu.
We were presented with a buffet of pretzel bites and funnel cake fries as appetizers. But Nico Vitale, the executive chef, explains the smoked chicken wings were a hit at Holiday in the Park, so they're coming back full-time.
They introduced pulled pork last year, but Vitale says, "Texas don't want pulled pork," so they've pulled that from the menu and replaced it with the Outlaw Dog. In fact, even though it's stuffed with cheese and jalapenos, the Outlaw Dog's origin story begins down the street from Scaia's origin story in Ohio.
Six Flags Over Texas has a Johnny Rockets location. That comes up as Vitale explains they've got a new cheeseburger that's better than Johnny Rockets. Plus hand-breaded chicken tenders return.
They've also got brisket. Vitale says a lot of Six Flags visitors are from other parts of the country, so it's important to introduce them to local cuisine.
This year, Six Flags Over Texas turns 65, so Vitale says they wanted to bring back a classic.
I envision him saying, "Texas Taco just isn't getting the job done anymore." Flustered as he tries to think of something new, he finds a box in a dark corner of an old pantry. He blows dust off a file and opens it up to find the corn dog recipe. He smiles and nods thoughtfully off into the distance.
To the side of the corn dog, you can see a picture of the new roller coaster. The regional general manager introduced everyone to Tormenta last fall. He gave the height requirement during the first introduction, but he uses an excitement you don't hear that often from executives. In addition to "You must be this tall to ride" signs, Tormenta may also have, "Your inflection must be this menacing when you say, 'Tormenta', to ride."
Its six world records are:
Tallest dive coaster--309 feet
Highest "beyond vertical drop"--385 feet
Fastest dive coaster--87 miles per hour
Highest Immelman inversion--218 feet
Tallest vertical loop--179 feet
Longest dive coaster--4,199 feet
If it had been open, I might have taken a ride, so it could also have claimed the record for "Most Times Scaia Questioned a Decision in two minutes" a distinction currently held by the time I played roulette because the craps table was full.
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