Even shrimp is bigger in Texas

I understand, Dallas Cowboys fans. Since the Cincinnati Bengals achieved success a few years ago, I've approached the beginning of each new season with enthusiasm... only to have that enthusiasm dashed.

Of course, as a Montreal Expos fan, I was introduced to disappointment with sports thoroughly and consistently at a young age.

When I moved to DFW, the Cowboys launched into that string of 8-8 seasons. Everyone was disappointed, but would counter, "Eight wins is great. You almost made the playoffs!" I learned quickly almost making the playoffs might have been a good year in Cincinnati, but that's not acceptable here.

But when I moved to DFW, I learned quickly the Cowboys were expected to be good and were good during the lifetimes of many of us hip, young millennials.

I was watching the game against the Texans with some associates a couple weeks back. At the end, one explained the Cowboys may have won, but they gave him a heart attack.

"It shouldn't be like this every week," he continued.

And they lost to Tampa Thursday night, so he was right not to feel hope.

To distract us all from our teams not performing the way we might like, the concessions stands continuously update their menus. For the Cowboys, Legends Global's motto is, "With us, when your friends ask how the game was, you can say, 'At least the food was good.'" (Not from Legends Global: That's absolutely not our motto)

The team at Legends has continued the gluten free trend that started a couple years ago.

They brought reporters down on the field for an event that, I suspect, was considerably more delicious than the sideline during an average game.

Among the new items is Penne Pasta Salad, "gluten-free penne pasta, grape tomatoes, roasted red peppers, English cucumbers, kalamata olives, roasted shallots, white balsamic vinaigrette."

You can also get a gluten free pizza with cauliflower crust.

In the suites, Legends explains they have a 27 page menu and nine kitchens.

The addition of gluten free and vegan items can show you the food you can get at stadiums has changed, but also consider how Legends now employees its own pastry chef.

"Everything here is made from scratch," Suite Chef Andres Meraz explains. "You can try a little bit of each, the Chocolate Game Changer, for our cupcakes, look at the detail on every one of them, we have the grass, chocolate, the creme broulee marshmallow, you have the Star. There's a lot going on here, and then you can finish off with the peanut butter cheesecake."

AT&T Stadium hosted a soccer tournament of some sort this summer, so the chefs tried out a bunch of new dishes for that. Items that sold well earned a spot on the Cowboys' menu.

Concessions Chef Heather Prince says Butter Chicken Doritos Loaded comes with a house-made butter sauce.

"When I was playin', I could have used a soak in a tub of house-made butter sauce," Bronko Nagurski said as he watched from the great defensive line in the sky.

"A swig of butter sauce would have really taken the edge off some of those long Sundays," Alex Karras responded.

Doritos, Fritos and Tostitos all play a greater role in this year's menu. Fans love dippin'.

Prince says they make their butter sauce at the stadium, but they also smoke their own brisket.

Texas BBQ Doritos Loaded is "House smoked beef brisket with nacho cheese sauce, BBQ sauce, sweet & spicy pickles, coleslaw and green onion."

Legends has also hopped on a new trend: Peri-peri chicken.

This dish is so hot, when they first said the name, I wrote in my phone, "Harry Caray Chicken" because I was not familiar. Doritos Peri Peri Chicken Nachos are "House made peri peri chicken with peri cheese sauce, pico de gallo, drizzled with garlic perinaise sauce."

You can also get Tostitos Peri Peri Chicken Nachos. "Tostitos® tortilla chips topped with house-made peri peri chicken, peri cheese sauce, garlic perinaise sauce and fresh pico de gallo."

They're not leaving us luddites out in the cold, though. You just want a hoagie? They'll hook it up.

Cowboys Cheesesteak returns from last year, featuring "Sliced sirloin steak grilled to perfection with onions and secret cheesesteak seasoning, piled high on a soft hoagie bun and topped with hot white queso."

Plus, they've devised a more efficient Cowboys Mac n Cheese delivery method.

Kraft BBQ DCQ includes "A Hoagie bun stuffed with a grilled jalapeño cheese sausage, famous Cowboys mac n cheese, chopped brisket and Kraft® BBQ sauce, topped with jalapeños."

And their seafood options are growing, too, with a greater availability of lobster rolls in the suites.

This year, though, if you're planning to hang out in the suites because you're better than us, they've also got colossal shimp, which sounds like an oxymoron.

Every year, the team at Legends explains to me--politely, like when you have to explain a concept repeatedly to a toddler--hot dogs and beer aren't going anywhere. They just want to give more options to fans who come to several game and might want something different. They also want to give fans of other teams visiting from other cities a chance to try Texas cuisine.

Plus, they like trying to incorporate popular flavors into foods you might try during football season.

For some reason, though, the cupcake tray looked less majestic after I've had my way with it.

Maybe this entire post can be a lesson to youngsters in Gen Z or Gen Whatever-The-Name-Is-Because-Apparently-We-Have-To-Name-Every-Age-Group-Now. From the Cowboys struggling to build another powerhouse to the Bengals not building long-term success to cupcake trays getting messy: To avoid slight disappointments, never try to accomplish anything.

Of course, I'm just kidding. We can all work toward goals. I'm building an iconic podcast about life in Texas; the team at Legends wants to provide new ways to experience traditional stadium foods; the Dallas Cowboys strive to achieve the same level of success as the Cincinnati Bengals.